9 Expert Divorce Tips to Help Make the Process Less Messy And Strenuous

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Posted: 1st September 2020 by
Lawyer Monthly
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While divorce might not be something to be happy about, it might be the only route to take for some people. The divorce process can be tiring and strenuous, especially when it is the first time going through it.

Below are a few tips worth keeping in mind when going through a divorce.

1. Be Realistic

Reaching a settlement should be the goal, and it must be fair for both parties. Adopt a realistic aspiration from the start to avoid prolonging the litigation process and incurring unnecessary costs.

2. Not In Front Of The Children

Only the adults should deal with the issues related to the separation or divorce; it should not be done with the kids around. The children must be protected from the emotional turmoil that can arise from the disagreement. Avoid speaking badly about your partner in front of the children.

3. Maintain Open Communication

Family lawyers Kessler and Solomiany advise that, when working with family lawyers, you should keep in mind that they charge by the hour. That means your legal fees will go higher and higher the more work you instruct them to do. But if you discuss matters and iron out most of the issues with your spouse, you lessen the advocate’s work, thereby lowering the legal fees. As a result, you might end up with more money to distribute between the two of you after completing the divorce or separation process.

That said, some relationships are abusive or violent. Avoid endangering yourself by trying to discuss things with your spouse if you are in such a relationship.

Family lawyers Kessler and Solomiany advise that, when working with family lawyers, you should keep in mind that they charge by the hour.

4. Get The Best Out Of Your Attorney

Prepare adequately for the first meeting. Strive to ensure that you have a brief summary of all parties involved in the matter, which you will present to your lawyer. Also, list down the marital assets and liabilities. Ensure your advocate is aware of any concerns or ideas that you might have in mind.

You must have a precise communication method with your spouse and attorney so that you can pass on any concerns when they arise instead of postponing them.

5. Listen To Your Advocate

You might have that friend or colleague that has read the “Reader’s Digest Guide to Law.” Such friends are quick to offer suggestions thinking they know best. Exercise caution when picking advice from them. Moreover, keep in mind that you are paying your lawyer a substantial amount to provide you with sound advice on the best way forward with the divorce.

The circumstances surrounding your case will differ from your friend's, hence the need to refer with your attorney to help you understand why. The course of every divorce or separation is unique, and thus each will follow a different strategy and have a different outcome.

6. Issue An Unreasonable Behavior Petition Only When You Have No Alternative

When it comes to divorce, you are expected to state that your marriage has broken down and the situation is irretrievable. The reason for things ending up where they are can range from unreasonable behavior to adultery. However, the court will not care much about who is seeking separation or divorce and on what basis.


As such, you outlining your spouse’s many failures will probably have little impact on the matter, especially given how delicate the situation might be. Therefore, consider alternative grounds for the separation or divorce, like a two-year separation and consent.

Issue an unreasonable behaviour petition only if you have no alternative options, ensuring that you abide by the Law Society Protocol. Keep all allegations to a minimum while trying to agree with your spouse about the various things to include or exempt before issuing the petition.

7. Do Not Dispose Of Assets

“Can I sell my valuable assets to a relative for a pound?” is one of the questions that often arises in divorce cases. Such action is never a bright idea. The courts will take a tough stance against the disposal of valuables with the aim of defeating a claim for ownership or financial provision in a divorce case.

When a sale or transfer is made with the objective of depleting available assets, the aggrieved or wronged party should start injunction proceedings with appropriate orders made by considering the costs involved.

Seek legal advice from your attorney if you have any reservations about the situation or suspect your spouse might be taking steps to dispose of marital assets.

8. Avoid Arguments, Engaging Only If You Have To

It might be a sensible thing to do, but it is not what many people do when it comes to divorce. The more the disagreements are prolonged, the more legal fees are incurred, and subsequently, the fewer resources are left to divide amongst yourself after settling the matter.

That is why the best route to reach a favourable agreement for both of you on matters related to the children or finances after receiving legal advice. The terms of the settlement can be recorded and binding as stipulated in a Court order.

The more the disagreements are prolonged, the more legal fees are incurred.

9. Keep Your Divorce Out Of Social Media

Always remember that what you share on social networking websites can be copied and reposted. It can be used as evidence against you. Do not post anything related to the court proceedings or materials showing your family, especially the children. The courts tend to have a very dim view of such behavior, which can even amount to contempt of court.

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