Understand Your Rights. Solve Your Legal Problems
Most people only hear about restraining orders when a public figure becomes involved. When Denise Richards was granted a long-term protective order during her split from Aaron Phypers, it triggered familiar questions across social media: How does the court decide something like that? Does a restraining order mean someone is guilty? What evidence does a judge actually look for?
Those questions are universal. They come up every day in homes far from any red carpet or reality-TV stage. And while a celebrity case may catch people’s attention, the legal principles behind a protective order are the same for everyone — structured, evidence-driven, and designed to reduce risk rather than assign blame.
To understand how these decisions are made, it helps to look beyond the headlines entirely and into the quieter, methodical world of family courts, where judges weigh safety, history, and human behavior with far more nuance than most people realize.
A restraining order issued during a divorce is not meant to “take sides.” It isn’t a shortcut for proving wrongdoing, nor is it a public declaration that one partner is at fault. Legally, its purpose is much narrower: to prevent harm while the court sorts out the rest of the separation.
Family courts are tasked with stepping in when someone claims they no longer feel safe. That might stem from a single alarming incident or a longer pattern of escalating behavior. Judges don’t evaluate these situations based on how messy the relationship looks from the outside — they look at risk.
This approach is rooted in decades of domestic-violence legislation across the U.S., including state statutes that require courts to prioritize safety when credible threats are presented. The Federal Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) also influences how states design their protective-order processes, reinforcing the idea that potential harm is taken seriously even before a criminal conviction.
This is why protective orders are commonly part of high-conflict divorces. They’re a stabilizing tool during an unstable period.
👉 Further Reading: Why Protective Orders Move Faster Than Almost Any Other Court Process — And What That Means in High-Conflict Cases 👈
People often assume a restraining order requires something dramatic — hospital records, police intervention, or undeniable physical proof. In reality, courts recognize that abuse, intimidation, or coercive control don’t always leave marks.
When someone petitions the court for protection, judges often examine:
The timeline of events: Does the story hold together logically?
The nature of the allegations: Do they describe threats, violence, stalking, or escalating behavior?
Supporting documents: Photos, texts, call logs, medical records, affidavits, or witness statements.
Behavioral indicators: Fear, attempts to flee, sudden changes in communication, or patterns of isolation.
Consistency: Whether testimony aligns with previous statements or documentary evidence.
Judges are trained to detect patterns, not performances. They’re aware that people in dangerous relationships might speak hesitantly, forget dates, or appear conflicted. They’re also aware that some individuals deny wrongdoing in absolute terms, even when evidence suggests otherwise.
This is why courts rely on a “preponderance of the evidence” standard for civil protective orders — a lower threshold than “beyond a reasonable doubt,” which is used in criminal cases. It allows judges to act early when someone appears to be at risk.
It’s extremely common for one partner to deny every allegation made in a restraining-order request. In fact, judges expect this. Divorce is emotional, and accusations of abuse — whether physical, verbal, or psychological — can carry serious consequences.
Denial doesn’t disqualify a restraining order, nor does it automatically weaken the accused partner’s position. Courts understand that truth in these situations is rarely neat. Instead of deciding “who is lying,” judges examine internal logic:
Does the denial fit the evidence?
Is there an alternative explanation that makes sense?
Is the accused person’s account plausible and consistent?
Judges also consider whether granting the order would create any undue hardship. For example, would it prevent one parent from seeing children safely? Would it limit access to shared property? These questions guide the court toward a balanced solution.
When someone hears “three-year order” or “five-year order,” they sometimes assume the court found extreme wrongdoing. But duration doesn’t necessarily reflect severity. It reflects risk over time.
Family courts often issue multi-year orders to avoid forcing the protected person to repeatedly return to court. Requiring someone to re-petition every few months can increase contact between the parties and reignite conflict.
Long-term orders:
Create stability
Reduce opportunities for intimidation
Give both parties time to rebuild separate lives
Prevent repeated legal battles during the divorce process
Many states also allow orders to be extended if the person still feels unsafe when the expiration date approaches.
A protective order doesn’t just limit communication. It shapes the practical reality of two people who may still share responsibilities, children, or financial entanglements.
Depending on the state, an order can influence:
Communication protocols (often written-only messages)
Access to shared homes or vehicles
School pickups and drop-offs
Medical decision-making for children
Travel schedules
Holiday arrangements
Digital contact and social-media boundaries
These details matter, which is why judges often craft highly specific conditions. The more precise the order, the less likely either partner is to accidentally violate it or to use its terms as leverage.
One of the most misunderstood aspects of restraining-order cases is why people delay filing.
Some fear they won’t be believed. Others worry about escalating the situation. Many feel embarrassed or uncertain about what legally “qualifies” as abuse. It’s also common for people to hope things will improve — even when the situation has worsened slowly over years.
The legal system recognizes this pattern. Courts regularly see petitioners who describe a combination of love, fear, guilt, and confusion. They’re not weak or indecisive; they’re reacting like humans in a complex emotional environment.
Understanding that protective orders are designed as preventative tools, not punishments, often helps people view them with less stigma.
Even though high-profile restraining-order cases draw more attention than the average divorce, they serve a purpose: they highlight how common these issues truly are.
What the public often overlooks is that the law operates the same way regardless of fame. A celebrity’s experience might play out on a panel stage or in a statement to fans, but the underlying processes — filings, hearings, judicial evaluations, risk assessments — are identical to what occurs in community courthouses across the U.S.
If anything, a celebrity case is a reminder that:
Protective orders are ordinary legal tools
Evidence matters more than emotion
Judges take potential harm seriously
The process is grounded in safety, not spectacle
And most importantly: you don’t need to be perfect, polished, or “camera-ready” to be heard in court.
Protective orders can be life-changing. For some, they create breathing room during a dangerous moment. For others, they provide boundaries that make the rest of the divorce manageable. And for many families, they prevent escalation during a period that’s already volatile.
Understanding how courts approach these decisions — calmly, methodically, and with an eye toward preventing future harm — helps remove the mystery that surrounds them. It allows individuals to make more informed choices about safety, privacy, and personal boundaries during one of life’s most emotionally complicated transitions.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, confidential support is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org.
No. A protective order is a civil measure focused on safety, not guilt. It can be granted even while disputes continue or criminal charges are absent.
Courts typically consider photos, text messages, call logs, medical notes, diary entries, police reports, or testimony from individuals with firsthand knowledge. The court looks for credibility and consistency rather than perfection.
They can shape communication, parenting schedules, and access to shared homes. Judges aim to reduce conflict while ensuring both parties can carry out necessary responsibilities.
Denials are common. Courts evaluate them alongside the broader record and documentation. A denial does not automatically prevent a protective order from being granted.
Yes. Many divorces involve escalating tension, and restraining orders are frequently used to set boundaries and prevent further conflict while legal matters unfold.
