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What is the Most Common Reason for Divorce?

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Posted: 1st September 2025
Jacob Mallinder
Last updated 22nd September 2025
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Divorce is rarely a decision made lightly. It typically results from a breakdown of the marital relationship over time, shaped by emotional, financial, psychological, and interpersonal factors. While each couple’s journey is unique, certain patterns have emerged through decades of family law research and court records.

Among these, one reason consistently stands out as the most common and corrosive: a breakdown in communication, usually manifesting as a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflict. If you are contemplating or facing a divorce, you should get legal representation from an experienced Palm Beach attorney.

The Legal Framework for Divorce

It is important to understand how divorce is handled legally in the United States. All states now allow for no-fault divorce, which means one or both spouses can petition to end the marriage without proving wrongdoing by the other party. Common legal grounds under no-fault divorce statutes include:

  • Irreconcilable differences
  • Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage
  • Incompatibility

These terms legally recognize that the relationship is beyond repair, regardless of the specifics. In practice, these “neutral” legal labels often conceal deeply rooted personal and interpersonal issues, with poor communication being the primary underlying force.

Communication Breakdown: The Leading Cause of Divorce

What Does “Communication Breakdown” Really Mean?

At its core, communication breakdown refers to the inability of spouses to effectively express needs, emotions, or concerns in a respectful and constructive manner. Over time, this results in:

  • Escalating unresolved conflict
  • Emotional disconnection
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Feelings of neglect or contempt
  • Chronic misunderstandings or resentment

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) and the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA) frequently cite communication problems as the number one reason for divorce.

Scientific Evidence Supporting This Claim

A landmark study published in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage surveyed 886 divorcing individuals. Over 53% cited a lack of communication or growing apart as the central reason for their divorce.

Another study found that nearly 68% of marriages ended mainly because of poor communication. When communication between partners breaks down, it can stall emotional growth and lead to frequent misunderstandings, frustration, and conflict. Without open dialogue, small issues can fester into serious resentment and damage the relationship beyond repair.

Renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman has also emphasized this in his research, noting that couples who display persistent communication problems, particularly criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, are significantly more likely to divorce.

How Communication Problems Manifest in Divorce Cases

Legal Repercussions in Custody, Support, and Property Division

While family courts do not typically assign “blame” in no-fault divorce cases, poor communication can influence key legal decisions:

  • Child Custody: Courts consider the ability of each parent to co-parent effectively. A demonstrated inability to communicate civilly may result in one party receiving limited custody or visitation rights.
  • Alimony and Spousal Support: Communication problems that masked financial abuse or power imbalances can be used as arguments to support spousal maintenance awards.
  • Property Division: Hostile or manipulative communication patterns can affect the court’s view of equitable distribution, especially if one spouse concealed or mishandled assets during the marriage.

In some cases, courts may refer parties to communication-based interventions like parenting coordination, mediation, or therapy referrals as part of the divorce process.

Related Top Reasons for Divorce (That May Stem from Communication Issues)

Infidelity

Extramarital affairs often grab headlines as a leading cause of divorce. But in many cases, infidelity is a symptom rather than the root cause, which may be linked to unmet emotional needs and long-standing communication failures. Emotional disconnection creates a vulnerability to seek validation or connection elsewhere.

From a legal standpoint, in a fault-based divorce system, adultery can influence alimony or property division. Even in no-fault states, it can affect the outcome if marital assets were used to support the affair (e.g., paying for travel or gifts).

Financial Incompatibility

Disagreements about spending, saving, budgeting, and debt often start as minor annoyances but escalate into major issues when couples fail to communicate openly. Financial issues are considered among the top sources of stress for a large number of married couples, and a key reason for divorce in many cases.

Courts take financial misconduct seriously. Concealing assets, hiding debts, or misusing marital funds can have legal consequences during divorce proceedings.

Substance Abuse

When one spouse suffers from addiction, communication becomes strained, trust erodes, and shared responsibilities suffer. Substance abuse often leads to breakdowns in parenting, financial stability, and emotional support, triggering divorce filings.

Though substance abuse is typically cited in fault-based divorce claims, its presence can affect child custody, visitation rights, and even spousal support calculations.

Domestic Abuse (Emotional, Physical, or Psychological)

While more overtly serious than simple communication problems, domestic violence often arises from extreme power imbalances and coercive control. It constitutes a breakdown of healthy communication at its most dangerous. Victims may seek protective orders and expedited divorce filings.

Most states allow family courts to issue restraining orders, limit custody rights, or bypass mediation if abuse is documented or suspected.

Communication Breakdown in High-Conflict Divorces

When communication issues are severe, divorces can escalate into high-conflict cases. These are characterized by:

  • Ongoing litigation instead of settlement
  • Multiple court filings over minor issues
  • Use of children as leverage
  • Allegations of alienation or abuse

High-conflict divorces are not only emotionally draining but can be more expensive and time-consuming. Family law professionals may recommend third-party professionals, such as guardian ad litems, child psychologists, or communication coaches to assist in these complicated scenarios.

Prevention and Intervention: Can Communication Problems Be Resolved Before Divorce?

While not every marriage can or should be saved, early intervention can sometimes prevent divorce. Couples therapy, communication workshops, and even structured financial counseling can address these root issues. Effective tools include:

  • Nonviolent Communication (NVC) training
  • Gottman Method Couples Therapy
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Unfortunately, many couples wait until they are in crisis before seeking help, by which point resentment may be too deep-seated to reverse.

The Role of Divorce Lawyers and Mediators in Navigating Communication Failures

Family law attorneys and divorce mediators are trained to navigate communication breakdowns, generally acting as buffers or translators for their clients. Experienced professionals can:

  • Help manage client expectations
  • Frame negotiations to minimize emotional escalation
  • Facilitate more productive discussions about children and property
  • Encourage settlement through structured communication (like shuttle mediation or collaborative divorce)

Courts themselves may also mandate alternative dispute resolution (ADR) methods in divorce proceedings to reduce conflict arising from poor communication.

Get Legal Help if You are Considering a Divorce or Separation

If you are facing the possibility of divorce and suspect that communication failures may be at the root, consider consulting with a dedicated Palm Beach divorce attorney. Early legal representation, coupled with appropriate emotional and relational support can help you make informed decisions about your future and ensure that your rights and financial interests are protected in the best possible manner.

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About the Author

Jacob Mallinder
Jacob has been working around the Legal Industry for over 10 years, whether that's writing for Lawyer Monthly or helping to conduct interviews with Lawyers across the globe. In his own time, he enjoys playing sports, walking his dogs, or reading.
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