Match Made in Hell: Divorce, Abuse and Separation – Lawyer Monthly | Legal News Magazine

Match Made in Hell: Divorce, Abuse and Separation

Erin has more than 20 years of experience handling a full array of family law issues. She is a Certified Family Law Specialist with the State Bar of California. With family law being complex and constantly changing, Erin is committed to maintaining the highest level of experience and proficiency in family law. She speaks with Lawyer Monthly about her main motivation behind specializing in family law, and her work helping victims of domestic violence.

 

What was the most difficult aspect of working towards your law degree and how did you overcome that?

Law school presented me with a very different way of looking at information. Legal analysis requires a refinement of analytical and critical thinking. One needs to learn to identify the issues presented, apply the law, and learn why one case, rather than another, carries enough weight to set a precedent. I learned the importance of evaluating the facts, applying the law and ensuring that my personal values and preconceived biases or opinions were excluded from that process. I have applied this systematic approach in my 20 years of practice and I am very grateful to my law school and my professors for preparing me to succeed in the practice of law.

I was 21 when I started law school. My life up to that point had been one of a student. Although I worked throughout high school and college, my experience in the “real world” was somewhat limited. The majority of the students in my class were much older. For many of them, obtaining a law degree was a second career or something that they had postponed for a variety of reasons. They had the ability to apply the law in a practical way based on life experiences, which I lacked at that point. In fact, when I first learned about financial regulations in my corporations class, my teacher pulled me aside one day and suggested I read the book, ‘Den of Thieves’, a novel by James B. Stewart, which tells the story of insider-trader on Wall Street in the 1980’s. It was clear to my professor that my lack of business experience impacted my understanding of the stock market, which in turn, was affecting my ability to comprehend and apply some of the financial principals we were learning.

 

How did you develop the qualities needed to tackle the emotional cases you see in family law?

Family law is emotional. There is simply no getting around that. As a family law lawyer, you are working with individuals during one of the most stressful times in their lives. Feelings are raw, and there is a lot at stake.

It is my responsibility to remind people of what is truly important. People are not using their best judgment if decisions are based on emotion. I try to help my clients see the big picture. I ask my clients to explain to me what “winning” looks like to them. This often helps put things in perspective. It requires people to shift their focus to working on an agreement or solution that both parties can live with.

It is imperative to me that my clients view the process, and their own actions, through the eyes of their children. I remind people that when you say something unkind about one parent to your child, the child often adopts that criticism as being directed at them. Children are perceptive. They are like sponges. They internalise the good and the bad. Children do not deserve to be tangled in the heart strings of their parents.

I also have learned that I cannot effectively advocate for my clients if I am overly enmeshed or emotionally invested with my clients or a particular outcome. My focus needs to be on helping the family get through the process. This is often difficult in and of itself. I need to maintain the same level of integrity and good judgement as I expect from my clients. This often means that I, too, cannot take things personally. Not every attorney governs himself or herself by the same standards as I do. This can be frustrating and disappointing at times and can adversely impact the resolution of the case.

What is a case you are most proud of and why? How did this case further shape the way in which you practiced law in the future?
One of the reasons I decided to go out on my own is because it allows me to represent clients for the Harriet Buhai Center for Family Law. The Center provides legal services for very low-income families. On average, 70% of our clients report domestic violence. Our volunteers (attorneys, paralegals and law students) donated nearly 12,000 hours last year. We offer free legal services and education at six outreach sites regularly throughout the year. The Center has served an average of 900 clients annually over the last five years.

The clients I have represented from the centre have truly changed my life. Their courage and determination, under some of the most horrific conditions imaginable, is nothing short of a miracle. It is the experience of providing meaningful access to justice for the most vulnerable which fills my heart with hope and provides me with the motivation I need at those times when I find the day-to-day practice of family law disheartening.

 

What further considerations do you need to make when cases involve domestic violence? Moreover, how do you go the extra mile to ensure the safety and comfort of your clients?

When working with victims of domestic violence, my first objective is to safely remove my clients and their children from the immediate physical danger. This is what I consider a short-term safety plan. This often requires intervention of law enforcement and the court. For a long-term safety plan, we need continued oversight by the appropriate authorities, including assistance from schools and trained monitors for supervised visitation.

Once the physical threat has been removed, we work on finding an emotional support team. This may include family members, friends, support groups and individual therapy. I need my clients to trust me, to be open with me, to be able to discuss the details of what has happened. Developing this level of trust does not happen overnight but it is essential for effective representation.

 

What is the most complex aspect of family law in California, that others are not always aware about?

California is a progressive state. There is a diverse population serviced by the family law courts. This creates novel legal issues which are often cutting edge. It provides lawyers with the opportunity to make a difference, to set a precedent for recognising the multifaceted nature of family relationships in the 21st century.

Also, Los Angeles has a large entertainment industry. We have a 24-hour news cycle. Media is at the court house every day. When children are involved, they often become the “victims” of a highly publicised dissolution and/or custody battle. In those types of cases, I believe we need to find a better way to balance the right of information and the protection of our society’s most vulnerable children.

 

What was your main motivation for specialising in family law?

I clerked for a family law judge during my last two years of law school. Going into a different type of law never occurred to me. I was hooked from day one. Becoming a family law specialist was the natural progression in my education and career and I am very proud of it.

 

With family law constantly changing, how do you hope to see things change in the next few years?

I would like to see equal access to effective legal representation, greater resources for family law courts which are overburdened and greater civility and cooperation among lawyers.

 

Erin L. Grey, Esq.
The Law Offices of Erin L. Grey
11111 Santa Monica Boulevard, Suite 1040
Los Angeles, California 90025
t: (424)248-3463
f: (424)217-4487
www.greyfamilylaw.com

 

Erin Grey has more than 20 years of experience handling a full array of family law issues with extensive trial experience. She is a Certified Family Law Specialist with the State Bar of California. Family law is complex and constantly changing. As a Certified Specialist, Erin is committed through certification to maintaining the highest level of experience and proficiency in family law.

At the Law Offices of Erin L. Grey, we are devoted to family matters, including dissolution, custody, complex financial issues, prenuptial agreements, and financial elder abuse.

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